The inner child

We call our early years our developmental years because that is when our nervous system develops itself. The experiences that we have in this phase can have a lasting impact on how our nervous system grows and learns to orient itself in the world.

The child has a powerful need to belong to its tribe. This is evolutionary wisdom, as the tribe provides the essential care and protection the child needs to survive.

‘However, the tribe’s way may sometimes differ from the child’s innate impulses. Torn between following its authentic experience or adapting to the tribe, the child will override itself to ensure survival.

As the child grows into an adult, this self-override can become internalised. However, the innate impulses that are chronically overriden do not just disappear as they are part of the child’s nature.

As a result, an inner conflict can emerge, manifesting itself in a wide variety of ways, including physical symptoms, mental distress, emotional outbursts, and a pervasive feeling that we are living a life that is out of touch with who we really are.

Reconnecting to self

No matter how much it may have been overriden, the child that we once were is still with us, present in our nervous system.

Through reconnecting to our body’s felt sense, we can come to sense the child within. This is the essence, for what the child most yearns for is to be felt by us.

With this connection established, we can learn—what the child needs, what it yearns for, what it loves; how to hold space for it to express its feelings and process its trauma; how to care for it the way we always wished for.

This is a gentle, gradual process. A journey of rebuilding trust with ourselves and reconnecting to the joyful innocence at the core of who we are.